Learning German

After watching some Grey’s Anatomy I have realised not only that I’m wasting my life but that while I have to deal largely with the same themes, problems and situations as an American Medical Drama, my reactions are monotonously British and underwhelming that it isn't possible for me to exist in the same universe as the people in Grey’s Anatomy. Meredith Grey is so squinty and beautiful languishing in her elegant breakdowns in the shower and open heart surgery. Meredith Grey would never lose her purse in a foreign country and have no money or food for the foreseeable future – I thought sullenly to myself on the train to Uni while gazing at the oncoming Poplar trees, lined up like lonely strangers ever waiting at the platform. There seemed to be an impermeable space surrounding each poplar, marking them out as individuals, their branches never crossing or overlapping though they were many. As you can see I was anxious; anxiety tends to make the best of us philosophical. On Saturday I ventured out for a social get together. It was a tentative evening though the conversation flowed readily all night about the London Riots, homesickness, second thoughts and how beautiful Konstanz was. Our evening was cut short by the disappointing realization that the buses only ran regularly until 12 on a Saturday.

The mystery of the runaway cat-face purse

The next morning after being woken up by Birgit, the house mum, to be invited to a large German Sunday breakfast waiting for me downstairs (soft boiled eggs, 4 different types of cheeses, homemade caramel sauce, jams, nutella, 5 different types of hams and “bacons”, tomatoes, warm seeded bread rolls and butter, orange juice…) I pottered about watching TV, doing washing and tidying up and other Sunday things. I had some missed calls on my phone and a text in German but I didn’t have enough credit to call back and I had no idea who the text was from. I assumed some sort of bureaucratic message from Germany – it seemed like a typically German thing to do; remind you to bring your overdue registration forms in by text. I ignored it like any right minded person would, rolling my eyes at Germany’s ridiculous mothering nature. By the evening all thought of text messages was driven from my thoughts as my bag was tipped upside down and pillow cases unturned and mind in total disarray. My purse was nowhere to be found. It was lost. I kept checking my bag though I knew it was empty and my belongings lined up on the side. I didn’t exactly panic because I went straight into denial about the situation. I told Birgit and she worried and told me to cancel my card… tomorrow maybe, it will turn up I told her. The time I would have to wait for a new card to be sent and processed was impossible, I couldn't do it. 

The morning came and Birgit and I had phoned every Fundbüro (lost property) we could think of without success. I was convinced I must have left it in the toilet on the train – I knew I must have had it at the train station as I tried to buy a snack from the vending machine and almost missed my train because of it, but the machine wouldn’t accept my 5 cents and no one could help me with 10 cents. I dug through my coat pockets – and found the 50 cents – so I hadn’t put it back in my purse. I certainly hadn’t lost it walking from the vending machine to the train so I must have left it on the train – though none of the lost properties had any sign of a Cat-face purse handed in. The situation was bleak.

By the time I alighted the weather had turned grey and rain began to fall. As I hurried to the bus I spotted something strangely familiar on the ground. Krillin? I waiting for some boys to pass me so that I could return to the floor treasure without judgement. It wasn’t Krillin, but a strange soft plastic Buddha. I picked it up for luck. It certainly couldn't hurt.

Lucky Buddah

At University my seminar room was empty and by the time I tried to register with the city it was closed and everything had begun to seem extremely frustrating, almost deliberately so. I clicked around the Uni for a few hours, rejected door to rejected door – passed from person to person – until I arrived at my Erasmus Coordinator’s room. I finally met her – the woman who had been helping me from Germany all Summer to find accomodaton and with all of my questions – and she was just as wonderful and helpful in person. She sent emails around the department advertising me as a proof reader with great enthusiasm and let me know that she would be there for any problem to help. I felt reassured and motivated to get it together and make this work. After I bumped into a girl from Israel who I had met a few times before – I told her about my situation and she instantly offered me help and asked if I wanted company for the day. Well, actually yes I did.

Together we marched off on the quest to find the missing purse, chatting amicably and refusing to let me cross at red lights out of respect for her new German authoritarian culture. We had quite an adventure. On the way to the Fundbüro of the University we discovered the Zoology quarters had it's own small natural history museum, which we eagerly bounded into. There was a large stuffed Komodo Dragon and Marmosets and lots of insect and reptile cages – with enormous mating Giant Spiny Stick insects and Iguanas sitting nonchalantly on each other. “They really don’t care about personal space do they?” my new friend aptly commented. No they did not. Apparently courting for the Leaf insects was just to wait on the others back until they decided to “connect” and as for the reptiles, they barely acknowledged the others anima but regarded each other as one would a preferred chair or blanket.

Extatosoma tiaratum

After a double disappointment at the Fundbüro (her umbrella hadn’t been handed in) we made the trek across town to the Police Station and ended up being driven to the Train Police Station in the back of a German Police van. The Policeman was very helpful the whole time, but when he opened the back doors and asked us to step inside I still had the fleeting idea that I was being arrested as I clambered willingly into the back. Germans always leave you with the distinct impression that while they appreciate you effort you could do better next time... so you can imagine the Police! While waiting to fill in more forms my new friend remarked, “You are being impressively calm about this whole situation... you seem very cool and collected.” I think a combination of stunned disbelief and very resigned resignation may have worked to produce this effect. Which just goes to show, if you get yourself in enough tricky situations eventually you stop reacting in a normal way and while you still feel terribly anxious (so it doesn't really help) it no longer shows. 

After the long day, which was actually quite fun after we made it into a quest, I decided to give my lucky buddha as a gift with the hope that buddha's worked with the same luck model as pennies. Just trying to make the most of the system... as well as thank a new friend. After, we said goodbye at the bus stop and I went to catch my train with a big chocolate coffee. I glanced through the window while I was waiting with my other Poplar trees and the hotel name opposite the station caught my eye. Hotel Halm – like a calm ham – I’d had that thought before but when? Something began to dawn on me and so I checked my phoned and re-read the German text message from Sunday. There it was: Hotel Halm. I excitedly asked a lady in front of me what a "Geldbeutel" meant in English, pointing at the German text. “A money pot!” she said smiling, “money pot!” she dug around in her bag, while gesticulating meaningfully. “mo---ney---po-“ “It means a wallet.” Interjected her daughter loudly. I happily thanked them and ran across the road. Cat-face purse! You too have returned! A group of people had very kindly handed in the purse - money still in tact - I knew I was right not to cancel my card... Shame I didn't follow my own advice. 

After all that the train journey home was a joy, even though the train was delayed and we stopped in all the boring places. It was ok because I thought even the ochre stones on the railway tracks had a kind of German aesthetic grace. As we chugged passed the set of Poplar trees lined up along the river I couldn’t stop my mind from greeting them again, with the recognition of a friendly face in a crowd. I'll not dwell too long on the fact that my purse had been found before I'd even started looking... because that's just ridiculous. Instead enjoy this picture of a statue that sits in the Bodensee just outside my train station in Radolfzell and rest assured that motivation to learn German has significantly increased.  

Isn't it funny?

In other news, Birgit's boyfriend Martin, has also found me a very good deal on a bike – 10euros - we're picking it up on Thursday and then we are spending the afternoon in his mechanical garage fixing it up together. That’s right, Callie the Mechanic in Germany..!

The Cat Returns

Radolfzell

After considering pioneering a "Homeless Student in Konstanz" campout campaign I have moved into a real house! I now live in Radolfzell - which is more beautiful than Konstanz but it does mean a bit of a comute to University. It's in a bright loft room with my own bathroom in a family house which also homes 2 other students. They don't really speak much English - which is problematic but hopefully it will help me learn German quickly. The downside at the moment is that I currently have no internet in my room as the cable is waiting to be fixed - argh. But don't worry! I'm streaming tv programmes during the day and watching them in the evening so I'm keeping up with Downton Abbey. I arrived on Sunday (a bit hungover) and as absolutely nothing is open in Germany on a Sunday I didn't have any food. Luckily I salvaged my remaining food from Yann's fridge to bring with me, so I had a quarter of a cucumber and 2 kiwis which was a delicious house warming meal.

I owe a huge thank you to Yann who I Couchsurfed with ( http://www.couchsurfing.org/ ). He really helped and looked after me while I was homeless and friendless in Konstanz - even though he was going through a received some very sad news while I was staying with him. Couchsurfing is great - I couldn't have made either move (to Madrid and to Konstanz) without it. The people are usually very kind and understanding and they genuinely want to help and meet new people. There's obviously a bit of a risk meeting strangers (you might not get on) but the Couchsurfing.org seems to genuinely do it's best to look after it's users. You leave references for people if you've met them and say to what degree you trust them. If there is someone dodgy in your area Couchsurfing sends everyone in the vicinity an email warning them about them. It's great to use for budget travelling and going to places you wouldn't be able to afford otherwise. 

Otherwise I'm still finding my feet in Konstanz I haven't really had much of a chance to explore yet but there are some fantastic opportunities for amazing walks. If you exit Radolfzell train station the back way it leads directly only the Rhein and there's a really lovely walk along the river with a great view of the surrounding hills and even a glimpse of some white peaks... Ski season is on it's way.

I still haven't started any lectures, which is lucky really because I still can't work out how to get from G300 to G421 without going through a portal which transports me into another building half an hour away from where I started. Who is designing these Universities?! Absolute sadists. So much time haplessly wasted looking imploringly at the mini university map already 20 minutes late. And it's not just me- before you think it!- I'm often asked by other international students if I know the way to their room. If I look like I know the way then these students must be really desperate.

"Silly human"

I also have more good news, Aggie has been returned home! She was in fact kidnapped by a small child and her family and was locked away in their home for 4 days. Apparently she did suckle the pillows. Though I am so relieved and happy to have her back I'm still very cross with the family for being so selfish. I know Aggie is beautiful but that is no excuse to steal her!

So, now that everything is settled it's time for some adventures...

Schokolade

So I have arrived safe but perhaps not quite sound in Germany. Today is Tag der Deutschen Einheit or "German Unity Day" a holiday which commemorates the reunification of Germany. As you can see Google.de is celebrating this with a special logo. As a result of this holiday all the shops are shut, so I've not yet been able to buy a German sim card or buy any food or anything (read: tobacco and alcohol). It's fine, I've been meaning to re-read The Easy Way anyhow

So how has the transition been? A lot of good and a lot of bad. As soon as I heard the dissonant drilling of the alarm I knew my day was just going to be a wrongun'. I couldn't find my phone charger, car keys went missing after putting my bags in the car and then after I said goodbye to my Mother at 6:00 am at Gatwick and tried to pull my suitcase to check in - nightmare. The suitcase - which I'll have to carry from couch to couch until I eventually find somewhere- is unpullable, uncarryable and was 2 kilos overweight. I'm not saying I packed too much... the design of the suitcase is just fundamentally flawed! I may as well be trying to carry all my things in my arms while pulling myself up a hill by metal cordoned wire.

Once in Konstanz it took me 15 minutes of heavy breathing and pausing to get myself from the Train Station to the Train Station bus stop. Obviously I missed my bus, but actually I needed the half an hour rest. Bustling onto the bus was another humiliation all together - red in the face, heaving and huffing and thrusting an endampened piece of paper with the word Jugendherberge (Youth Hostel) written on it into an unimpressed German bus drivers face - wasn't the best first impression to imprint onto my new hometown. I collapsed near the bus driver with the evidently mistaken idea that he might let me know where to get off - of course that didn't happen. I also happened to sit next to a "down and out" (every German town needs a token "unfortunate") whose stink of yesterday's booze only intensified with familiarity. He of course also had a guttural hacking cough - which to his credit he tried to politely direct away - but it was so appalling I couldn't help giving him sympathetic glances every now and then. Probably why I missed my stop.

Anyway, after having to heave my belongings off the bus, on the bus and then back off again I arrived at the Jugendherberge which was of course situated at the top of a large hill and handily situated next to a graveyard. Oh how hard I'll laugh about that hour one day. I arrive sodden with sweat, tears and blisters. I have to wait another 20 minutes until 2 o clock when the place opens before I can begin the arduous process of signing up for a German membership card with a significant language barrier. It is at this point that I start having surprisingly great conversation with a German guy passing through Konstanz. He ends up coming with me to my Erasmus meeting and helping to break the ice by aggressively (to my standards) introducing me to the surrounding members of my group. I felt like I was in nursery again with my mum introducing me to my potential new friends. It was quite nice actually. My new friend also has a car and he very nicely drives me to my first Couchsurfer and stays chatting for a while, helping us both see the complete unawkwardness and naturalness of the situation before departing off into sunnier skies to Oktoberfest.

The youth hostel. Thankfully I wasn't staying in the tower.

Everyone will be glad to know I have been very lucky with my Couchsurfee. He is very kind and gracious and made an amazing cream mushroom pasta for dinner. He unfortunately found out that his friend passed away and was understandably quite upset. I gave him a hug and after my offer of a cup of tea was laughingly rejected I suggested an episode of Doctor Who. A new convert! Anyway, to round off the story I went for a run to explore the local area and I saw a cat. I stroked it, it bit me so hard it broke the skin. I arrived back to the house crying and after applying iodine he ended up consoling me over my missing cat. I felt like a pretty terrible human being.

This post is called Schokolade because I bought a cup of German "hot chocolate" and it tasted like bitter disappointment, the only way unfilled chocolate anticipation can taste. I didn't want to awkwardly wedge it in my post so I'll just leave it here at the end...

Auf Wiedersehen!

I fly to Konstanz tomorrow to start my year abroad - currently homeless and catless. It's certainly not ideal but I'm hoping for the best. My cat has decided to disappear the weekend before I'm due to leave but in doing so we have uncovered her underground ring of adoring fans and feeders. She also goes by the name Tina - a reference to her "teenager" characteristics, all the boys chasing round her and leading her dedicated gang of other young cats. Bet they don't know she still suckles the pillows!

Come back soon!

Hopefully she'll come back before I leave tomorrow. Hopefully she's safe and abducted in the home of a jealous unrequited lover and she'll be able to make her escape and return home.

So, yes, I'm leaving extremely early tomorrow to make my move to Lake Konstanz in Germany - despite the fact that I haven't yet found anywhere permanent to live. So I am spending the first night in a hostel - after that I'll be humbly living off the generosity of strangers via CouchSurfing until somewhere can be found. Apparently I'm not alone however, there are still a lot of people who haven't found anywhere to live for the semester - which isn't very reassuring really.

Exploring Konstanz for the first time

On my first evening I'm going to a Stammtisch (German for "regular's table") at the Hafenhalle, which is basically an opportunity to meet and socialise with other new Erasmus students in a typical German bar. Hopefully I'll meet some nice, interesting people and maybe even someone else who is still looking for somewhere to live.

Anyway, I ought to start getting myself prepared - I'm going to be living out of a suitcase for quite a while...

Tschüs for now! (Not entirely sure you can use it like that - I'll keep you updated)

Sunset over Lake Konstanz