Learning German

After watching some Grey’s Anatomy I have realised not only that I’m wasting my life but that while I have to deal largely with the same themes, problems and situations as an American Medical Drama, my reactions are monotonously British and underwhelming that it isn't possible for me to exist in the same universe as the people in Grey’s Anatomy. Meredith Grey is so squinty and beautiful languishing in her elegant breakdowns in the shower and open heart surgery. Meredith Grey would never lose her purse in a foreign country and have no money or food for the foreseeable future – I thought sullenly to myself on the train to Uni while gazing at the oncoming Poplar trees, lined up like lonely strangers ever waiting at the platform. There seemed to be an impermeable space surrounding each poplar, marking them out as individuals, their branches never crossing or overlapping though they were many. As you can see I was anxious; anxiety tends to make the best of us philosophical. On Saturday I ventured out for a social get together. It was a tentative evening though the conversation flowed readily all night about the London Riots, homesickness, second thoughts and how beautiful Konstanz was. Our evening was cut short by the disappointing realization that the buses only ran regularly until 12 on a Saturday.

The mystery of the runaway cat-face purse

The next morning after being woken up by Birgit, the house mum, to be invited to a large German Sunday breakfast waiting for me downstairs (soft boiled eggs, 4 different types of cheeses, homemade caramel sauce, jams, nutella, 5 different types of hams and “bacons”, tomatoes, warm seeded bread rolls and butter, orange juice…) I pottered about watching TV, doing washing and tidying up and other Sunday things. I had some missed calls on my phone and a text in German but I didn’t have enough credit to call back and I had no idea who the text was from. I assumed some sort of bureaucratic message from Germany – it seemed like a typically German thing to do; remind you to bring your overdue registration forms in by text. I ignored it like any right minded person would, rolling my eyes at Germany’s ridiculous mothering nature. By the evening all thought of text messages was driven from my thoughts as my bag was tipped upside down and pillow cases unturned and mind in total disarray. My purse was nowhere to be found. It was lost. I kept checking my bag though I knew it was empty and my belongings lined up on the side. I didn’t exactly panic because I went straight into denial about the situation. I told Birgit and she worried and told me to cancel my card… tomorrow maybe, it will turn up I told her. The time I would have to wait for a new card to be sent and processed was impossible, I couldn't do it. 

The morning came and Birgit and I had phoned every Fundbüro (lost property) we could think of without success. I was convinced I must have left it in the toilet on the train – I knew I must have had it at the train station as I tried to buy a snack from the vending machine and almost missed my train because of it, but the machine wouldn’t accept my 5 cents and no one could help me with 10 cents. I dug through my coat pockets – and found the 50 cents – so I hadn’t put it back in my purse. I certainly hadn’t lost it walking from the vending machine to the train so I must have left it on the train – though none of the lost properties had any sign of a Cat-face purse handed in. The situation was bleak.

By the time I alighted the weather had turned grey and rain began to fall. As I hurried to the bus I spotted something strangely familiar on the ground. Krillin? I waiting for some boys to pass me so that I could return to the floor treasure without judgement. It wasn’t Krillin, but a strange soft plastic Buddha. I picked it up for luck. It certainly couldn't hurt.

Lucky Buddah

At University my seminar room was empty and by the time I tried to register with the city it was closed and everything had begun to seem extremely frustrating, almost deliberately so. I clicked around the Uni for a few hours, rejected door to rejected door – passed from person to person – until I arrived at my Erasmus Coordinator’s room. I finally met her – the woman who had been helping me from Germany all Summer to find accomodaton and with all of my questions – and she was just as wonderful and helpful in person. She sent emails around the department advertising me as a proof reader with great enthusiasm and let me know that she would be there for any problem to help. I felt reassured and motivated to get it together and make this work. After I bumped into a girl from Israel who I had met a few times before – I told her about my situation and she instantly offered me help and asked if I wanted company for the day. Well, actually yes I did.

Together we marched off on the quest to find the missing purse, chatting amicably and refusing to let me cross at red lights out of respect for her new German authoritarian culture. We had quite an adventure. On the way to the Fundbüro of the University we discovered the Zoology quarters had it's own small natural history museum, which we eagerly bounded into. There was a large stuffed Komodo Dragon and Marmosets and lots of insect and reptile cages – with enormous mating Giant Spiny Stick insects and Iguanas sitting nonchalantly on each other. “They really don’t care about personal space do they?” my new friend aptly commented. No they did not. Apparently courting for the Leaf insects was just to wait on the others back until they decided to “connect” and as for the reptiles, they barely acknowledged the others anima but regarded each other as one would a preferred chair or blanket.

Extatosoma tiaratum

After a double disappointment at the Fundbüro (her umbrella hadn’t been handed in) we made the trek across town to the Police Station and ended up being driven to the Train Police Station in the back of a German Police van. The Policeman was very helpful the whole time, but when he opened the back doors and asked us to step inside I still had the fleeting idea that I was being arrested as I clambered willingly into the back. Germans always leave you with the distinct impression that while they appreciate you effort you could do better next time... so you can imagine the Police! While waiting to fill in more forms my new friend remarked, “You are being impressively calm about this whole situation... you seem very cool and collected.” I think a combination of stunned disbelief and very resigned resignation may have worked to produce this effect. Which just goes to show, if you get yourself in enough tricky situations eventually you stop reacting in a normal way and while you still feel terribly anxious (so it doesn't really help) it no longer shows. 

After the long day, which was actually quite fun after we made it into a quest, I decided to give my lucky buddha as a gift with the hope that buddha's worked with the same luck model as pennies. Just trying to make the most of the system... as well as thank a new friend. After, we said goodbye at the bus stop and I went to catch my train with a big chocolate coffee. I glanced through the window while I was waiting with my other Poplar trees and the hotel name opposite the station caught my eye. Hotel Halm – like a calm ham – I’d had that thought before but when? Something began to dawn on me and so I checked my phoned and re-read the German text message from Sunday. There it was: Hotel Halm. I excitedly asked a lady in front of me what a "Geldbeutel" meant in English, pointing at the German text. “A money pot!” she said smiling, “money pot!” she dug around in her bag, while gesticulating meaningfully. “mo---ney---po-“ “It means a wallet.” Interjected her daughter loudly. I happily thanked them and ran across the road. Cat-face purse! You too have returned! A group of people had very kindly handed in the purse - money still in tact - I knew I was right not to cancel my card... Shame I didn't follow my own advice. 

After all that the train journey home was a joy, even though the train was delayed and we stopped in all the boring places. It was ok because I thought even the ochre stones on the railway tracks had a kind of German aesthetic grace. As we chugged passed the set of Poplar trees lined up along the river I couldn’t stop my mind from greeting them again, with the recognition of a friendly face in a crowd. I'll not dwell too long on the fact that my purse had been found before I'd even started looking... because that's just ridiculous. Instead enjoy this picture of a statue that sits in the Bodensee just outside my train station in Radolfzell and rest assured that motivation to learn German has significantly increased.  

Isn't it funny?

In other news, Birgit's boyfriend Martin, has also found me a very good deal on a bike – 10euros - we're picking it up on Thursday and then we are spending the afternoon in his mechanical garage fixing it up together. That’s right, Callie the Mechanic in Germany..!